Monday, Feb. 18, 2013.

• 07:30 — Sharp eyed university censors notice half a dozen unauthorized communications chalked into sidewalks. “#PlaidSwag” looks suspicious.  Superiors notified.
• 09:30 — University censorship action group (UCAG) concludes that a non-cyber information attack is underway.
• 9:45 — Vehicles parked over information attack sites to deter spread of dangerous ideas.
• 10:00 — Criminal incident information recorded.
• 10:15 — University powerwashing crews swiftly deployed.
• 10:45 — Non-cyber information attack threat diluted.
• 4:45 — Report on effective use of human resources forwarded to Superiors.
• Unfortunately, this is all true, except the part about the UCAG — we actually don’t know what they call themselves or what they call unauthorized chalkings.